Throughout the whole episode I kept paying close attention to every line, move and gesture of the boys... even more than usual (and that's saying something!) because of the finale being so close... you never know what Kripke might use against us at the end xp anyways I tried to keep a close watch on important details but everything was completely erased from my mind and washed away because of one single scene:
Dean throwing away the amulet
Gosh... it was as if someone would have stabbed my heart or something =( I think that last scene (at least for me) meant more than the other 39 minutes of the episode.
• Cas's disappointment to God. I knew he had his hopes on God coming and saving everything but his reaction took me by surprise, he's come far from being that cold and inexpressive angel from season 4 and I think he's not even noticing how human he's become.
• Sam. I think this is the first time I've seen Sam being the hopeful one, we normally get to see Dean comforting Sam and telling him how everything is gonna be ok and how nothing bad will ever get to him, but now Sam is the one looking for an alternative. I think this is probably because most of the times Dean was the hopeful one, the support and the protective... and now seeing his brother so torn and desperate made him decide to take the lead and be the support. I found this very sweet.
• Last... but definitely not least is Dean. It's really impressive how this man manages to make me cry like a baby without a single effort *sighs* he totally broke me in this episode specially because of that last part. I think Dean throwing away the amulet didn't mean he didn't want it anymore or that he didn't love Sam (as I know many would think) I think it is more about him throwing away himself, throwing away his life and the perception he had on the way things were around him. I think this was a really tough episode for him for several reasons:
1- He remembered a part of his childhood he had forgotten. The fact that even though John had painted Mary as perfect and both, Dean and Sam, thought their family to be all happiness and love until the yellow eyed demon showed up it wasn't the case. he remembers his family wasn't as perfect as he thought and that his parents were having problems. Also the fact that Dean had to go and hug Mary and tell her everything would be alright was really heartbreaking and had this immense child-like innocence, I think that this is not because of the teddy bear t-shirt or the cars he had been playing with but because of his own defenselessness, Deans' face showed nothing but sadness and innocence as he held Mary and I gotta give it to Jensen, he made on hell of a job.
2- His Heaven vs Sam's heaven. I think this is probably the biggest crush for him during the episode, the fact that all of Dean's heavens had to do with his family, with Mary and with Sam, specially on that first heaven when he dreamed of a younger Sam, I think that more than the fireworks what Dean really wanted was his younger brother to be happy, to have that innocence back. Meanwhile Sam's heavens were all when he was by himself or had left his side. I think Dean felt as if someone had stabbed him on the back, thinking that probably the only good thing he had, and the one thing he had given up everything for: the relationship with his brother was not what he thought it would be.
3- God refusing to help. I think this one didn't hurt emotionally as much as the other two but is more a reflection of Dean's despair to his actual condition, not knowing what to do and losing faith on his last hope.
So bottom line: Dean didn't through away Sam... DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT... he threw away the life that he felt had just played him and cheated on him by making him believe everything was ok when it really wasn't.
Wow... that was longer than I expected XP