I think most of us... me included sometimes forget just how scarred and hurt the boys are... not like physically but mentally and emotionally scarred, most of their lives they've suffered lost and sadness, we keep seeing them as our Dean and Sam but have forgotten the battles they've been through... I was tryign to really analize them and realize the closest thing to them in a normal basis would be soldiers, soldiers who have fought, cried, lost and got hurt in awful ways... ever since they were children... and I realized I had never looked at them that way... children as soldiers, who would have thought?...
I gotta say it is hard to watch the boys change through the seasons... but hey we all change, right? its part of growing up... and the boys definitely have... and I understand...
1- I understand that Dean didnt want to tell Sam about monsters when they were little... Cause Sam was the most important thing for him, and somehow Sam's innocence made him keep a trace of his own innocence intact.
2- I understand that Sam wanted a normal life... after all who doesnt? no one would like that life... not John, not Dean. I'm not saying it was right for him to go... cause family should come first but I understand his urge to live like a normal person for once.
3- I understand Dean staying by John's side. Its not like he didnt have any ideals or hopes or dreams... but he always put family first, he knew his dad needed him, and new Sam was unhappy to stay so he sacrificed himself to be the balance that kept both his father and brother happy... it is sad but I understand.
4- I understand John selling his soul for his oldest son, the soldier he never meant to raise, his shoulder to cry on even before he was ready to be, his right hand, his best friend, and even when he never admitted... the reason for his pride.
5- I understand Dean selling his soul for Sam... in so many ways Dean gave up things for Sam, not cause Sammy asked anything but because of the love he had for him, cause he wasnt just his brother he was his life, his biggest treasure and in some ways... his child.
6- I understand Sam growing desperate to save Dean... and I loved how he even admitted back in S3 that even though he never said he always looked up to him, he was his hero... Sam looks up to Dean, we cant expect him to be Dean but he loves him more than anything in the world... he is his Dean.
I'll probably keep writting the list later... since there are so many things we take for granted and deserve to be pointed out on the show, but if you have something you would like to add just comment and I'll add it... I'll post this at the top of my journal to never forget the reasons I love my show adn keep it open in case you know anyone who would be interested in sharing thoughts... Yes it is still my show... is it yours?